Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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