I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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