If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
