Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
