also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
too bad you live with your parents still
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
You left your phone here
Wait...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
