I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
