this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
