so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
