ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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