oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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