party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
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The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
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Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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