i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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