You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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