Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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