No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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