Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
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i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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