Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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