I am puke
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just had sex on a roof
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
