yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
