yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just forgot I was standing up.
Pants are for mortals
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
