He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
