Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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