first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
