If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
