She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
