and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize