I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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