I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
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I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
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The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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