I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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