i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
please come you make the beer taste better
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
And my parents said I crawled through the house
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
The air taste purple.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize