I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
