I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
