is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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