nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just found puke in my bra..
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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