the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize