everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
