I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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