Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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