Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
