My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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