So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
