Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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