Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
