where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
