Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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