Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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