Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
