I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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