She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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