It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
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We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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