dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
