I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
