I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I need to stop coming to work sober
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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