Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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