We won't sleep together?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
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She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
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