TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
