So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
